Dating for Introverts 101: Setting Yourself Up for Success

singles group members going paddle boarding

For those who consider themselves an introvert, dating can be a daunting notion. Even those who consider themselves even a little bit shy might wince at the idea of “getting out there.” Establishing connections with new people, in new places, and doing new things over and over until you find someone who “gets” you, can sound just about as joyful as a root canal (the struggle is real). However, dating for introverts doesn’t have to be painful. With a few strategies and the right approach, even the most introverted person can enjoy the dating scene.

How to Make Dating for Introverts Easier

Getting in the right mindset is often the best place to begin. Acknowledging that you will be out of your comfort zone gives you the ability to take the steps needed to make it easier for you. Expect all the usual first date bumps. Awkward silences and bad jokes have happened to all of us! It helps to know that the person on the other side of the conversation is probably feeling the same clumsy-first-date feelings that you are. First dates are don’t have to be uncomfortable – embrace the unknown and you’ll be able to move past it.

Do the prep work. Because it can be emotionally draining to be around new people and be “on” for an extended period of time, take the time before dates or social gatherings to fuel up on some solitude. It also makes sense to schedule some emotional resting time afterward to decompress and recharge. Feed your needs first (and often) and you’ll feel better – physically, mentally, and emotionally – about everything.

Skip the apps. Dating apps are not optimal for introverted people. Dating for introverts is hard enough without the allure of avoiding the entire process and swiping from the comforting solitude of your cozy couch. It’s easy to get sucked into the cycle of spending more time on the app and less time (or even NO time) on actual dates.

What’s an ideal dating environment for introverts? Imagine, if you will, a situation where you can choose what you like to do and know that everyone there will be single and looking to build meaningful connections. That’s where Events & Adventures has the edge over online dating. We realize meeting new people can be intimidating. We create low-pressure environments perfect for connecting and mingling with fresh faces. It takes the intensity out of those first one-on-one dates and puts the fun back in dating for introverts, wallflowers, and bashful folks alike.

Choosing your comfort level is easy with E&A. With up to 30 events each and every month, you can choose from a variety of outings. From intimate, low-key get-togethers to adrenaline-pumping adventures, members have the freedom of choosing what kind of experience they want to enjoy – and meet singles while they are doing it! Easygoing folks will love events like wine tasting, poker night, pottery classes, or events like “snowshoe & fondue” and “kayak the bay.” Once you’ve gotten your feet wet (with snow or water!), you can always check out other thrilling adventures like skydiving, karaoke night, line dancing, or even a polar bear swim! Sneak a peek at some of the events we feature for our members. The choices are endless and the decisions are yours. Go to one event or all of them – the best part? Everyone is single!

Make small talk useful. Every introvert hates the dreaded small talk. The necessary topical banter to welcome real connection doesn’t always have to be so draining. Make it easy on yourself by prepping ahead. Having a mental list of questions that generate easy conversation can lead to more meaningful communication. Using open-ended questions and phrases like “Tell me about…,” often leads to a freer-flowing exchange, and responding with “yes, and” encourages you to expand on your answers.

What brings out your chatty side? Engage in activities that offer easy subject matter, like a comedy show or theater, where you can easily talk about what you saw, or choose events that capitalize on your strengths and give you the confidence to strike up a conversation with someone new. Are you an art enthusiast? Choose the next art museum outing and chatter about your appreciation for post-modernism. Maybe you’re a beer aficionado. A brewhouse visit may be right up your alley. Wherever your interests lie, chances are Events & Adventures has plenty of options to create a relaxed and enjoyable way to meet new singles and take the sting out of dating for introverts.

Show your true self. Although it may seem easier to tattoo “introvert” on your forehead, don’t be afraid to share that you enjoy your quiet time. When the topic of your interests comes up, little hints that you thrive on easy and peaceful activities are helpful. If you reveal yourself fully from the get-go, you waste less of your time (and the other person’s) in the “getting to know you” phase.

Set boundaries for yourself. Don’t overcommit for FOMO (fear of missing out). You’ll get more out of committing to something you’re excited about than merely showing up because you think you’ll regret it later if you don’t. With up to 30 events every month, you have an opportunity every night to do something fun with Events & Adventures, so you can always skip what doesn’t sound like your cup of tea. Did we mention we have tea night?

The dating-for-introverts bottom line: do what works best for you. Put yourself in situations where you can present your most honest self and enjoy doing so. Surround yourself in a dating environment where you can thrive and build real connections. Events & Adventures has been creating fun and engaging ways for singles to meet and have fun for over 30 years. Find out how even the shyest wallflowers can enjoy their best single lives. Jump in on the fun and get started today!