You’ve probably heard it before – communication is key. When setting your boundaries in dating, it’s tough to establish ground rules without having a conversation. While it may seem scary to put your emotions on the table, it’s a worthwhile exercise when getting to know someone.
So, what are boundaries? Boundaries help us communicate our wants, needs, and issues we are having. This means that boundaries will vary from relationship to relationship. They could be physical, emotional, or even geographical. There are many types of boundaries, and that’s why a dialogue is necessary. Maybe you’re the type of person who likes to take things slow, so you decide to wait a certain amount of time before going on a vacation, or even moving in with someone. Or, the person you’re talking to may have a pre-existing concern from a past relationship. That’s something to listen to and consider when setting boundaries. Open communication about worries, hopes, and fears will lead to a healthier and happier relationship going forward.
When Do You Set Boundaries?
Maybe you haven’t met your significant other yet. That doesn’t mean it’s too early to set boundaries. Boundaries stem from your own attitude and character and contribute to the standards you expect in a relationship. Before you even meet someone, you may already have existing boundaries in place. This will help you avoid any awkwardness months or years into a relationship when you feel the need to put your foot down. The purpose of these limitations is to protect yourself, so it’s never too early to consider what’s off-limits. Setting boundaries early on puts you in an ideal position to meet someone compatible with your personality.
Which Boundaries Should You Consider?
The boundaries you set are a personal reflection of your character, but there are some common themes among dating limitations. You’ll want to consider how you prefer to communicate with someone, whether it’s over text, call, or face-to-face. Think about how much personal space you require or how often you expect a date night. When you get upset, how do you prefer to resolve a conflict? Finally, what is the level of commitment you expect from a partner? These are concepts to consider before you start dating someone, and while you continue to date them, too. And remember, if you look for a partner in a safe, secure environment, you may not have to consider too many rules with a well-suited and like-minded partner.
Listen Like Never Before
So, you’re ready to have the boundaries conversation. This is the time to get to know the person you’re seeing – and listen to what they have to say. It may be difficult for them to communicate their feelings, especially if it comes from a place of vulnerability. It’s important to let them speak without interrupting, and acknowledge that you hear them. While it’s imperative to listen, don’t be afraid to speak up. Starting the conversation is the hardest part, so once words are flowing, let the other person know how you feel. Remember, the most important aspect of this conversation is upholding respect for each other.
State Your Non-negotiables
When discussing boundaries, stick with your non-negotiables throughout the conversation. There’s a reason you decided a boundary is non-negotiable. If you’re having trouble finding a compromise, it’s okay to say “no” in this conversation.
Stay Open to Possibilities
While it’s beneficial to state your boundaries, remember that you don’t need to close the door on opportunities. If you decide to set too many boundaries in a relationship, it’s possible you may miss out on new experiences you may like. Stepping out of your comfort zone is like trying new foods. You never know if you’ll like something until you try it. When breaching your comfort zone, it’s okay to be uncomfortable, but the situation should not be intolerable and painful. Know your limits and trust your instincts.
Speaking of trying new things, you might feel ready to take a leap of faith and meet someone. You never know when you’ll bump into “the one.” Set yourself up for success and make the effort to put yourself out there. Participate in hobbies with a group, join a club, and say hello to strangers. We can help with that…
Time to Meet Someone New
If you’ve established boundaries and feel ready to meet someone, you might be wondering, “Where do I meet them?” In the digital age, many people flock to dating apps. But with the infinite number of people to swipe left or right on, it’s common to become accustomed to the plethora of options. With so many choices, people often lose interest almost instantly. They know other options exist, so coming across one flaw leads to endless swiping once again. There’s a better alternative.
While it may seem antiquated, we suggest meeting people the tried-and-true way. It’s time to put the devices away and spend time with local singles in person. At Events & Adventures, we do our best to make it easy for you. Don’t worry about flaky people you’ll need to set endless boundaries with. Meet up with singles at a pre-planned activity, ditching the arrangement and logistics. Everyone is screened to make your experience worry-free and enjoyable.
With over 30 unique events each month, you can choose to attend the activities that spark your interest. Chances are you’ll meet like-minded individuals there. From bar crawls and skydiving to wine tasting and cooking classes, we’ve got something you’ll love. It’s a no-pressure environment, with no expectation of dating or tying the knot — although many of our members have done so! If you’re ready to meet relatable singles in 14 cities across the U.S. and Canada, join Events & Adventures. Click here to learn how you can get started.