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Dating App Experiment
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The Dating App Experiment

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The Dating App Experiment

As a single staff member of one of the Events & Adventures clubhouses, I decided to do a bit of an experiment with myself. Like a lot of people, I’m a dating app user; as a person dating in the 21st century it often feels like there aren’t many other options. As a simultaneous member of Events & Adventures, I started to compare and contrast my experiences with my online relationships and the ones I was seeing develop at Events & Adventures.

I’ve been on the classic apps like Tinder and Bumble and have tried some of the more obscure apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel. They each have different layouts and specialties that make them seem like lights at the end of a tunnel filled with fellow singles. In the end, each app seems to turn out to have a similar end: possible dates and little connection.

 

The Findings

Dating apps turned the very real and emotional experience of dating into a very numb and robotic game. I’ve found myself mindlessly swiping through people without even looking at them. The sensation of matching with someone seems to create more of an endorphin boost than an actual opportunity for a true connection.

I’ll never forget when I matched with a guy and mentioned meeting up for dinner with him pretty quickly, trying to bypass the small talk and make something out of a match that seemed promising. He agreed, we set a time and location. The next morning, he was gone. He deleted our match and seeing as that was the only form of contact I had with him, there was no way of getting in touch to see what happened.

The experience stung, but a part of me accepted it because we hadn’t even met. How could I hold this guy accountable when he was only a picture on a screen?

I’ve gone on my fair share of actual dates through these apps too. I’ve even been in short-term relationships with some of the men I’ve meet. The large majority of the time the connection I thought I had with these guys online didn’t come through in person. If we did actually have something in common, there seemed to be a pressure to put a definition on whatever we had right away, which ended up scaring one of us away. When you make dating the primary focus of any activity, there’s an expectation of trust and vulnerability almost instantly. How can you put that kind of pressure on someone you barely know?

Having heard friends express similar frustrations, I know I’m not alone in my dating app woes. I even hear us wondering aloud if there is something wrong with us because of our lack of success.

 

The Solution

Having experienced Events & Adventures for the last six months, I honestly believe it’s not us but the online dating system that’s to blame. Unlike the forced nature of online dating, Events & Adventures creates an organic environment for members to have fun being themselves.

Are you filled with random facts or a board game connoisseur? You can guarantee there’s a trivia or game night coming up with Events & Adventures. More of a sports fan? Every club has at least one viewing party or pickup game on the books. Are you a whitewater rafting, bungee jumping, or adrenaline junkie—or do you want to be? Events & Adventures has you covered there, too.

And the best part? Other people are doing all of these things with you. You’ll be able to build connections with people that have similar interests and have the opportunity to see these same people on a weekly, or even daily basis, without having to plan the get togethers yourself.

All of the romantic relationships I’ve seen develop between Events & Adventures members have come out of the weeks and months they have spent together at Events & Adventures events. When people have the chance to develop friendships, those friendships turn into trust, and that trust can very easily blossom into something more substantial like commitment and love.

Our members have the chance to cultivate relationships with each other without having to worry about defining their experiences, romantic or otherwise, because that’s not what Events & Adventures is about. Our goal is to help people live a life they love, and that definition is different for everyone.

As a self-proclaimed wallflower, I’ve really had the chance to soak up all of the wonderful benefits Events & Adventures provides its members. In a world so fueled by instant gratification, Events & Adventures slows things down and gives its members the change to enjoy their lives with friends, new and old. So why keep staring at a dating app filled with what-ifs and maybes and come have some promised fun with Events and Adventures? You never know where it might lead until you give it a try!

Monday Night Wallyball Chicago

October 4, 2013

Monday night Wallyball was awesome! It was all our first time playing so we were in the same boat. Wallyball combines the right amount of fun and exercise to keep you wanting more! It was awesome to see how much our skills progressed by the end of the evening. Heck, Kelli even invented her own serve where the ball disappears right before your eyes! It was a great way get rid of that Monday stress. I can’t count how many times I said “just one more game!” E&A brought us together and encouraged us to try this new, amazing sport which we will definitely see on the calendar again. The evening ended with laughs, sweat and salted caramel pumpkin ice cream. That’s normal, right?!

April Event Manager Chicago

Lights, Volleyball, Action Houston

October 4, 2013

Our favorite volleyball spot has added new nets & lights so we can enjoy outdoor volleyball action every Tuesday night for the rest of the year!  The heat has finally broken so even if you don’t love volleyball you will love relaxing on the patio with a cool drink and good friends.  Happy Hour is all day and you can watch your favorite channels on the new flat screen TV’s outside!

Reid Event Manager Houston

Whitewater Rafting in Peru!

October 3, 2013

 Have you ever been river rafting? WOW! What a thrill. We started off on a calm leg of the Umbra River in Peru. Most the water is from glacial runoff. Good thing because that sun is toasty at 10,000 feet. We learned to paddle together (which is very difficult when there’s a splash fight with the other boats!) and headed down to the class 3 rapids. Coolest thing ever. Our awesome guides knew just when we needed to give extra effort to stay off those sneaky rocks. A couple times my heart felt like it was going to stop when we hit the rushing rapids. We looked at each other and realized we all had the terror-thrill grins and started laughing as we slapped out paddles together over our heads for our congratulatory cheer. We did it! When can we do it again?

Jacque Event Manager Dallas

Another Great Hike Minneapolis

October 2, 2013

I was thinking about how great our summer was and all we have done and accomplished together, and one of our August hikes came to mind.  A simple afternoon hike can turn difficult depending which path you choose.  If you hike in a park, there are usually maps and paths to guide you, but sometimes it’s fun to “off-road” and take the path less traveled.  We started out on a very wide, tarred path with many people surrounding us, then it slowly got more narrow with no one else in sight.   Boulders came to be an obstacle, so we started to climb.  I looked back, as I was leading the pack, and the looks of determination on the faces behind me, told me to keep going.  We went up and then we went down and then up again.  When we arrived at the landing overlooking the river, we all took in the view… as we all took a drink of water as well.  We took a victory picture then and as we headed back, I was thinking about how our lives are much like this hike was… may seem simple at first, but there are difficulties along the way.  What goes up, must come down, much like our climb on the boulders.  But the best part about it is that we learned something about ourselves as we did something we may have never done before… we pushed ourselves, where other times we might have just given up… and we did this because we first took a leap of faith and joined E&A.  This may be the first step, but it’s not the last… and I’m looking forward to sharing many more of these victory moments together!

Megan Event Manager Minneapolis

Hiking Santa Clara!

October 1, 2013

Hiking is one of my favorite things to do with E&A. Getting out and exploring all the neat locations, seeing the beautiful landscape, getting a great workout, and being able to really talk and connect with people is why I love it. The group went to Alum Rock Park on Saturday for a 6 mile hike. It was a blast! I got to meet some new members and really was able to get some one on one time with them. It was a blast racing George to the top of a hill. I am pretty sure I won, but we both had to stop and take a couple breaths at the top! It was so much fun giving Rolando a hard time during the hike. He was always at the head of the group, running up all the uphill portions working really hard to get that workout going. What an athletic guy! Afterward, we all went to Lucy’s Tamale Factory which has the best tamales in San Jose. Delicious!

Julie Ott Regional Events Manager

Getting Dirty Chicago!

September 30, 2013

 It’s been awhile since I’ve felt like a kid again, and our pottery class did the trick! Having clay all over my hands, arms and under my fingernails brought me back to my childhood. There is something about being dirty that makes me cringe and happy at the same time! We all began nice and slow on our pottery wheels trying to keep control of our clay and the splatter to a minimum. It didn’t take long before we realized this isn’t as easy as it looks! Some of us created beautiful bowls and vases while others’ looked like the work of a kindergartener(myself). All and all our creations were our own and we were proud of our art, perfect or lop-sided. I can confidently say that we threw around some clay and some laughs as well!   
April Kordyak Event Manager Chicago

The Amazing Trek at Machu Picchu!

September 27, 2013

 I took this picture at our basecamp at Soraypampa, Peru roughly 3,800 meters up in the Andes Mountains.  After completing the first days 7 hour hike in the lead group I see a bright light of confidence and accomplishment in my eyes.  Day 2 would destroy that light like a waterfall crushing the faint light of a candle.  After “sleeping” through rough winds, cold temperatures and a choir of wild dogs; the banging on our tent at 5am wasn’t the best wake up call I have ever had.  This was the start of the most challenging day of my life.  Fighting altitude, rough terrain and fatigue I would eventually reach the height of our trek 15,220 ft…before lunch;  A grueling 4 hour hike up over 3,000 feet in a matter of hours.  As I passed another adventurer up the trail he said something to me I would never forget.  He was much older than me and he looked at me through tired yet excitedly hopeful eyes and said “Have you ever had so much fun being miserable?” It was a quote that I will always remember because I never want to forget that the things in life worth striving for often require the most challenging journeys.  Learning to love the journey is what Events & Adventures is all about every single day.

Reid Johnson
Events Manager – Texas Region

All About Our Members Meetings….

September 27, 2013

 E & A Member Meeting events are always a blast! It’s a great opportunity where we get to go somewhere or try something new! From cooling down at a pool party during the hot Arizona summer to meeting up for a mix & mingle at fun venue, and don’t forget our smashingly dressed members at the toga party! These are just a few of the different kinds of Member Meeting events we’ve had in the last few months.
Just as importantly as meeting and making new friends at each of these Member Meeting events, we also discuss any awesome upcoming events or travels on the calendar, along with events and adventures that we’re interested in going and doing as a group. From horseback riding, hot air ballooning, to local community events, our members always have a plethora of ideas to suggest for events!
E & A is a club that is all about its members.  We’re interested in going and doing things that will bring people together, making memories with great friends you might otherwise have not done on your own.  Hence the Member Meeting event is such a great opportunity to bring new ideas and suggestions to the table…and it’s a fun social event at the same time.
Don’t miss out on our next Member Meeting event here in Phoenix! It’s happening tomorrow night… check out the calendar for the details!

Courtney- Event Manager Phoenix

Mini Golf Fun San Francisco!

September 26, 2013

I didn’t expect I would be laughing so much and fearing being hit by a small ball at the same time. I mean it was mini golf after all. What could possibly cause such reactions? It wasn’t the different holes that recreated iconic Bay Area sights, from Lombard Street to the Winchester Mystery House, nor even the fact that many holes needed a bit retouching so that it didn’t take 500 strokes to get past the tee off marker. It was the fun and interesting group of E&Aers that made it so fun ! Ken the expert golfer could be counted on to make a hole-in-one while I think we all ran for cover whenever it was Catherine’s turn to putt. Best of all, no matter how many strokes it took to complete the crossing of the Golden Gate or the skateboard park, there was much laughter and smiles all around. If I had even the slightest worry about playing mini golf, it was replaced with smiles and fun by the 2nd hole. 

Bryan Event Manager San Francisco